miércoles, 7 de octubre de 2015

Cashew the Mouse

In a heartfelt attempt to prove her love to me, my cat Necia honored me a few weeks ago with a very special gift. Nothing spells love like a freshly killed warm dead mouse next to your semi-naked sleepy body at 3:35 in the morning. I jumped out of bed when I realized that I was sleeping next to a dead rodent and as fast as I could I opened the entrance's door for my apartment and ran outside to the hallway. Semi-naked, shaking and petrified from what just had happened I stood still for at least thirty minutes incapable of coming back inside. Why would I? There was a monster over my 500 thread Egyptian cotton sheets!

Necia followed me to the hallway and stood next to me with a peculiar and surprised look in her face as in: "What happened mom? You didn't like the color?" I didn't want to appear like an ungrateful human so I held her in my arms and reassure her that her gift was the most thoughtful and sweet present I have ever received! Also, she was the only object at hand to cover my naked mammary glands.

After the initial shocking reaction started to faint my sleepy and sometimes juvenile brain began drawing possible scenarios on how to solve the conundrum at hand. These solutions included but were not limited to:
  1. Go downstairs half naked using Necia as a bra and ask the concierge for help: Pros: I didn't have to deal with the monster over my bed. Cons: Nudity. (I can't believe I am listing Nudity as a negative thing. What is wrong with this world!)
  2. Knock on my neighbor's door: I moved into this building in February and I still don't know who lives next door. As far as I know he can be a psychopath or my next husband. Or both. Pros: I get to know my neighbor. Extra points for being half naked ;) Cons: Possible very bad first impression.  
  3. Call my I.C.E. (in case of emergency contact): Is this really worth waking some innocent soul at four in the morning? Yes. This is what I consider an emergency! I am terrified of rodents! Pros: Some other person takes care of the 2" monster laying breathless over my bed. Cons: I would most certainly lose my I.C.E. contact, for good. 
  4. Call an ex: Pros: None. Cons: All.
  5. Get some balls and go inside and take care of the problem myself: Does this mean that I need to face my fears rather than running away from them? Do I look like a grown up?! (FYI: At this point almost two hours had gone by and I was still petrified of coming back inside). Pros: I really don't see anything positive about putting a dead mouse inside a plastic bag. Cons: A dead mouse inside a plastic bag.
As tempting as Options #1 thru #4 sounded, I chose Option #5. I "manned up" and started walking back inside to face my worst nightmare. First I strategically placed an empty plastic bag next to the poor little thing (at this point I started somehow to feel compassion for this mouse) hoping for his body to miraculously jump inside the bag. Obviously this did not happen, so I grabbed my broom and as I stood as far away as possible from the crime scene I pushed his breathless little body into the bag. Then I lifted the bag with the far end of the broom stick and I walked for what seemed like a mile to the garbage room where I threw his body down the chute. Walking back to my apartment I felt like a heroine for being able to take care of business by myself but also a little ridiculous for blowing this issue out of proportion. Is a dead mouse worth losing a good two hours of beauty sleep? Probably not.

Cashew's death (after everything this mouse and I had gone thru he deserves to have a name) taught me an important lesson in life: my "problems", my "fears", my "worst nightmares" are basically a matter of perception. If instead of looking at the "problem" from the usual point of view we chose for once to look at things from a different perspective ("Gloria, it's just a tiny little dead mouse and not a monster"), we will start to notice that reality sometimes needs to be revised because our conditioned self ("I am afraid of rodents therefore I have to run away from this beast!") is the source of it. Cashew also reminded me that one of the best decisions I have made in my life is to have adopted Necia fourteen years ago. I provide her with food and love and in exchange she vomits over my rugs and keeps uninvited guests at bay. I have never seen her as a pest control method, but God bless her and her fast feline reflexes!

Sorry Cashew, after all the stressful moments I'm sure Necia put you through you were indeed a beautiful gift. Now that I know that I can take care of any of your family members all by myself  (with Necia's help, fine!) I know I can conquer the world!