martes, 23 de octubre de 2012

Real Nice Thing in Life #16

Aside from thinking about why the Martians haven't approached us more openly and how to copy-and-paste text from model space into paper space without losing the scale (AutoCAD question, sorry), I've also been  wondering why we are the only species in the world that covers our bodies with a second layer of material known as clothing. What is it that we want to cover so compulsively? Is cellulite really that bad? Are hairy nipples the worst thing that can happen to a woman? (For the record, I DO NOT have hairy nipples! I might have hairy toes, and my arm pits are a bit out of control, but believe me, hairy nipples are something I did not inherit from my father). I'm not trying to promote a let's-go-naked-day, but I've always wondered why  humans are so fascinated by corporal ornaments. For all I know, my hats are the equivalent of a peacock's feathers, and when I wear a good pair of shoes I feel higher in the food pyramid than the Lion King. I find it amazing how clothing and accessories control our position in our herd. Wear a pair of killer high-heels and your pairing possibilities increase exponentially. 

I recently got my very first pair of formulated glasses. These medical aids are only to be worn when staring at non-moving objects like a book, a computer or my husband while watching the presidential debate. However, I've decided to use them as a bodily camouflage to attempt to deceive other primates into thinking I'm smarter than them hence raising my survival odds in the concrete jungle.

Real Nice Thing in Life #16: Having a beautiful blog and wonderful readers! (and a pair of glasses that elevated my intellectual status in the office from cute blonde to bad-ass Clark Kent ;))

All pictures by the one and only Alcibiades.
Donna Karan Blouse and Skirt, H&M bat sweater, Miu Miu shoes, 
Hat brought to you by Colombian peasants.

jueves, 11 de octubre de 2012

Real Nice Thing in Life #17

Just as I thought would happen, I sucked at my audition. I've never had any type of experiences in front of a professional video camera before. Until  last Monday, I was a virgin regarding teleprompters, interviews, and bright lights. And then I was deflowered in front of six panelists who kept asking me about my beauty tips and how I would define my personal style. I gave 100% honest responses. I told them that shampooing my hair every day followed by massive amounts of hair conditioner then letting it air-dry even during the coldest months was my number one beauty tip. My interview ended shortly after this. After discussing this later with more knowledgeable peers I realized I should've said something more among the lines of: "I like to wear lipstick or lip gloss that flatters my face!" (Wow! What a revelation!) then looked straight at the camera done a blink-blink with my eyes and finished with a coquettish smile. Sure. They should be thankful I didn't tell them that the best blush is the one you get after drinking red wine and having sex. Now that's a real beauty tip!

I must say however that everything happens for a reason. My reason this time being all the cool girls I met while waiting for my turn at the guillotine  Most of them had some sort of experience as actresses or show hosts each one prettier than the last (and taller, and skinnier, and did I say prettier already?). 

I've been holding on to these illustrations for the longest time and I feel like today is the perfect day for posting them. They're from a very talented Colombian illustrator named Catalina Jaramillo Quijano. They belong to a collection called Sillas Musicales (Musical Chairs). She found inspiration in a phrase from Roland Barthes's A Lover's Discourse:

"Game: there were as many chairs as children, minus one; while the children marched around, a lady pounded on a piano; when she stopped, everyone dashed for a chair and sat down, except the clumsiest, the least brutal, or the unluckiest, who remained standing, stupid, de trop: the lover." 

That kid was me, and I loved it.

Real Nice Thing in Life #17: The feeling of adrenaline flowing through your veins while you do something that scares the shit out of you! 

All illustrations by Catalina Jaramillo Quijano

miércoles, 3 de octubre de 2012

Real Nice Thing in Life #18

I was contacted by a lovely lady from Look TV last week. She wanted me to send an audition video to her channel based on my outstanding "shameless and cheeky glamour". I won't show you the entire 5 minutes, but I will show you the best part of the audition: the mistakes, and a little bit of the introduction. I will keep you posted as I have a follow-up audition at Look TV's studios next week (yeah!). I tried to speak as clearly as possible, and to sound a little less like Sofia Vergara's character Gloria on Modern Family. I think I failed.

Real Nice Thing in Life #18: Laughing until you belly hurts while making a fool of yourself.

lunes, 1 de octubre de 2012

Real Nice Thing in Life #19

Natalia Swarz once said in one of her drawings: “yo solo me quiero morir con muchos sellos en el pasaporte” (I only want to die with lots of stamps in my passport), and I agree. Exploring new places, meeting people and getting lost in a new city after a bottle of red wine have made for some of the most rewarding experiences I've had. Nothing beats seeing the world and the nice things God (universal good vibe man with white beard and contagious laughter) has created for us. But as much as I would like my life to be a little bit more nomadic, the shy part of me still enjoys the safety and warmth the space that I call home provides. There’s no pillow in the world like my 15-year-old-happy-dreams pile of ambiguously-soft-material headrest. No luxury hotel would ever be able to provide me with a more efficient wake-up call than the demanding meow of my 13-lb cat. And just tell me what can beat stepping on a freshly-vomited cat hairball when you wake–up in the middle of the night to pee!

Real Nice Thing in Life #19: Home sweet home. Green with envy if yours happens to be in the middle of NYC's Chelsea neighborhood and you've added baby blue architectural details. 

Apartment designed by Michael Rubin Architects. Note how small this apartment is, yet how spacious it feels thanks to the use of mirrors and built-in elements.