miércoles, 15 de agosto de 2012

The Olympics.....not really

A very dear friend of mine (whom I call DoDo) texted me a picture of herself wearing a bathing suit. Of course she looked adorable. I find all my dearest friends to be the prettiest girls on earth. She wanted me to give her an honest opinion of how her body looks five months after giving birth to her beautiful baby. It got me thinking about how much our bodies change during the course of our lives. Gravity takes over your boobs, stomach, and butt no matter how much exercise you try to squeeze into your daily routine. Those donuts that you used to burn so fast in your twenties are now noticeable within minutes of eating them and suddenly the thought of cosmetic surgery crosses your mind more regularly than before. 

But don't worry my dear warriors, I've come up with a solution to our bathing suit problems (at least the taking a picture in your bathing suit one). I've called it: the instant boob, stomach and butt lift. It's very simple, all you have to do is a hand stand (exhibit A) and then rotate your picture (exhibit B) and tadah! suddenly your boobs are at a decent height again. Ignore my "Olympic style tape" on my right knee. Along with the perks of reaching a certain age comes the torn ligament and the misplaced patella. It comes with the deluxe package. 

For the more adventurous of you I recommend the "running pose".
It doesn't hurt to have a bathing suit with a strategically placed ornament to cover that fluffy belly that not even 500 sit-ups will flatten.

If you cannot do the head stand don't worry! I also created the "laying on the floor" pose. This pose will spread your belly and boobs all over the floor giving you a "flat" stomach.
If you are brave enough just go ahead and stand up. Suck your belly in and do the "I'm looking at the empty floor and trying to look interesting look" (how many times can one say look in one sentence?) (Do you notice how the buttons that are holding the ornamental piece are at their maximum stress level?)

And with pictures of me wearing a bathing suit I say Good Night to you all. Dear DoDo and the rest of you with bathing suit issues, you are the prettiest! We are all unique in our own skin and that's the beauty of the human race. Love you all :)
Agua Bendita Bathing Suit
All pictures by Alcibiades