Along came Mad Men

I have never been a television fanatic. My TV is slightly bigger than my laptop's screen, I don't have cable, and until very recently I was one of the few persons on planet earth who had never watched Mad Men before. Until I got a hysterectomy. For those of you not familiarized with this term, a hysterectomy is the surgical removal of the uterus. It may also involve removal of the cervix, ovaries, fallopian tubes, and other surrounding structures. Ouch!

How I got myself into this mess is beyond my comprehension. I thought I was living a healthy lifestyle by eating wholesomely, exercising daily, controlling stress, meditating, calling my mom regularly, etc. Surprisingly, a nasty sneaky fibroid was living cozily inside my uterus getting fat and big at the expenses of the organic, fairly-traded, locally grown, non-GMO, ethically-sourced food that I was eating. Life, my fellow readers is as unpredictable as the NYC weather. One day we are suffering under what I like to call the 100F Satan weather and the very next we are literally searching frantically in our closets for a fall jacket because the weather is now 40F cooler.

If in your next life you choose to be a benign tumor looking for a place to live, your best bet is to aim for the uterus. This organ is considered prime real state amongst other organs since it has all the perks that you as a tumor should be looking for. It is warm, it is located near food sources (e.g. eggs full of hormones), and the view is great! I mean, the uterus has unobstructed windows to the Central Park of the human organs a.k.a. the vagina. Unfortunately, my tumor treated his Fifth Ave. penthouse condo *clears throat* i.e. my uterus- as only a nouveau riche could. He indulged in each and every-one of the seven capital sins to the point where his neighbors The Ovaries, The Fallopians, and Mrs. Cervix along with people from other neighborhoods like Doña Bladder and his husband Mr. Large Intestine unanimously voted for his eviction.

My tumor didn't leave peacefully, he put on a fight that had me resting at home limiting my physical activity to the bare minimum. I had plans of spending my recovery weeks reading all the books that I hardly have time to get to on my "normal days" but in reality I could hardly concentrate since I was taking painkillers so strong that had me high as a kite or sleepy for the most part of the day. I needed something light and entertaining. And so I stumble upon Mad Men, and my life changed. Well, not really, but I loved the show so much that I binged watched 7 seasons in less than 4 weeks. I went from never turning on my TV to hardly turning it off. Mad Men and their incessant smoking and drinking habits kept me sane during one of the hardest yet most inspiring and life-changing events of my life. It also thought me that when in despair look for the silver lining, and so I did.

So to make a long story even longer, here are the Top-5 Lessons learned form a Hysterectomy -and Mad Men:

1. Be grateful to your body. We have heard this one before along with the obnoxious hashtag blessed but I mean, literally look at your legs right now and thank them for taking you places, look in the mirror and thank your eyes for letting you see the beauty of this world, even thank your reproductive organs for all the orgasms that you've been able to experience in your lifetime.  Never take your body for granted. Stop the self-criticism. Trust me, your thighs are not as wide as you think they are. You are perfect. In a world full of Betty Drapers be a Joan Holloway.

2. Embrace Change."And let's also say that change is neither good or bad. It simply is. It can be greeted with terror or joy. A tantrum that says "I want it the way it was". Or a dance that says "Look, something new". Don Draper.

3. Be patient. To be more precise, be a patient patient. Good things take time. Recovery takes time. We love instant gratification but your cells don't work that way. They are working hard to keep you healthy but getting anxious and expecting fast results are the kryptonite of recovery. I was directed by my doctor to take 6 weeks off from work. This forced "vacation" halted my life on its track. No going to the gym, no pilates, no yoga, no dancing. Thankfully, I felt better with every day that went by and slowly but surely I was regaining my mobility. My body reminded me daily that everything was coming together. My body had my back.

4. You are the captain of your destiny. Let's get real y'all. If I were to tell you that you have the power of becoming anything you want what would you do in your daily life? Would you quit your job? Would you get out of your long dead relationship? Would you start that beautiful dreamy boutique you've always wanted? Well guess what? You have the power of being the person you've always wanted to be because you are the CAPTAIN of your life. Stop coming up with lousy excuses. And now...I slowly disappear.

5. Get Netflix and Chill.  Ok, this one is completely unrelated to being in a hospital, or even being sick but I want to thank the Academy, my producer, my make-up artist, and all the others who made this possible specially Don Draper & Co. Thank you Mad Men characters for being so amazing in every way.

So for now I'm going back to my old ways where my TV is just a decorative accessory never to be turned on. I am going back to my "Hey Google, play Tchaikovsky" days and I'm going to pay more attention to my cat Nacho. Gone are the days of addictive binge watching. Let the new adventures begin.

With love,

Gloria E. Duque
Hysterectomy survivor, Unicorn Fantastique, Captain of My Own Life, Sculptor, Bad Ass, and CEO of Malpaso Fun Design. More on this soon...

Sex (or the lack of) and the City

On a cold winter night back in February 2015 and upon my return from a three-month sabbatical in Colombia I met Estela my real estate agent who amidst the very competitive housing market in New York City somehow magically pull out of her sleeve my beautiful –yet tiny- rental studio in the very chic area of Greenwich Village also known as New York’s Gold Coast at a non-obscene yet still scandalous for other parts of the globe monthly price. Am I bragging? Fuck yeah! This minuscule -and overheated- piece of floor plan smaller than some people’s closets makes me feel like a Latina version of Carrie Bradshaw and for those of us devoted Sex and the City fans this is a life time achievement, so allow me to boast like a spoiled 5th Avenue kid (Nah nah nah nah nah!)

One might think that -as the show suggested- living in the city and having an adventurous fashion sense should be enough to live a Carrie-esque love life. Unfortunately that is not the case. Even though the city is full of fantastic people, finding a fulfilling love connection can be a frustrating process. Ice breaking face to face at a bar or any other social venue has been replaced by pointless Tinder and/ or Bumble virtual chatting that usually leads to and even more senseless real life encounter with the non-photoshoped-enhanced version of the object of your temporary virtual infatuation. You are expecting Mr. Fantastic when in reality you are stuck with Mr. Disappointment.

After a handful of not-so-fulfilling first dates I decided to change my strategy completely. I was not going to look "for love". I made the decision of becoming the best person I could be for my own benefit and satisfaction. I started a passionate love relationship with myself (insert dirty thoughts here). I took myself to the fancier restaurants, the most romantic beaches, and the chicest clubs. I also bought myself flowers and treat my skin to facials and my body to massages. I became my very best friend. I even took myself to the coolest Valentine's party where I met awesome people who just like me embraced their singleness with pride!

Once I dropped the self-imposed expectations of finding a romantic partner and became my best friend, I fell in love with life. Having a loving relationship with myself has been a very fulfilling and liberating experience. The "need" of finding a boyfriend has been replaced with the joy of understanding that no one can "complete" me because I am already whole and that my lovers is the ultimate life time achievement.

Besos and shine like the stars that you are!

Gloria

Vintage dress directly imported from my aunt's closets. 

All pictures by CoCo. 

-"Is she back?" 

-"Maybe she has never left."

Cali, "La sucursal de cielo"

Santiago de Cali is also known as heaven's branch (to be more technical it's more or less heaven's main subsidiary office). As I type this, I realize that it makes no sense in English, but in Spanish this beautiful nickname has been part of many artistic manifestations including the lyrics of a very catchy and popular song called "Cali Pachanguero", which has been embedded into the DNA of many generations (including my own) as the insignia song of our lovely city. 

Cali adopted me as a bastard child when I was very young. I was born in Santa Fé de Bogotá (Colombia's capital) and lived there for a few years before my family and I moved to the world's Salsa Capital, city where I spent most of my life before heading to New York City-and Philly-fifteen years ago. Am I a "Caleña"? A New Yorker? A "Rola"? All of the above? I like to define myself as a Bogota born "Caleña" living an on and off very passionate love affair with the Capital of the world. My dad's family was from a small town call Pereira and my mom's family is from Ibagué. My accent when I speak either English or Spanish as you can imagine is quite particular.

I met some of my closest friends in Cali. I can spend countless hours telling you wonderful stories about Claudia, Mónica Perea, Felipe, Angela, Ana, Jose Pablo, Maria Isabel, Paola, Camilo, Andrea, Ricardo, Friend (a.k.a. Jenny), CoCo, and a whole bunch of beautiful people that have made my life a rich experience and whom somehow defined who I am today. Every year I try to come back to Cali even for a couple of days just to spend priceless moments with this very special group of humans. Every time I see them is as if time hasn't passed by. I still get the same happy feeling similar to the first day I tried avocado and key lime ice cream: pure bliss ;)

So Cali, Thank you one more time for the craziness, the madness, the love, the friendship, the scorching hot weather that only makes the experience more intense, the lovely breeze, the delicious aguardiente, Río Pance, the mangoes, the beautiful people, Delirio, the lighting show, the helpful staff at this very cool place, and above all thank you for adopting me as one of your own, to me you will always and forever be my sucursal del cielo. 

All pictures by Guachafita Productions (a.k.a. secret male collaborator #2)
Location: Paseo del Río Light Show.
Beautiful vintage dress coming straight from my aunt's closet. 

On Chastity Belts

Harness Belt should be a more exact term for the weird appurtenance that lays so peacefully over my body. Harness Belts are not designed to prevent sexual intercourse however, your mating possibilities might decrease exponentially with the continued use of the fashionable, anti-sexy, and beautiful version of a posture corrector brace collar, so I might as well call this wonderful device a Chastity Belt since the outcome will be the same: you will not get laid. 

-"What are you wearing tonight?"
-"You know, my chastity belt with my vintage dress and a pair of Miu Miu's"
-"Cool, enjoy"

In all seriousness...isn't this belt the coolest thing ever? Yes? No? Maybe? Am I weird? :)


Vintage dress rescued from a certain trip to my aunt's closets in Colombia. Remember this?
Miu Miu shoes, BCBG Chastity Belt :)
All pictures by someone who prefers to remain anonymous ;) CoCo should be back soon.


*Have you ever google'd chastity belts?
this has got to be a joke!

Happy Friday Quimbara Quimbara!

Celia Cruz, the one and only. If you were born south of the hemisphere chances are that you grew up listening to Celia, El Gran Combo, La Fania, Tito, Joe, etc. These songs are part of our internal hard drive. If only every lesson thought in school was in a form of a salsa song Colombia would be a land of geniuses!

Last weekend CoCo's parents came to visit her, and that such event inspired us to have a mini welcome parents-welcome-nice-weather party at CoCo's backyard; because sometimes all you need is chips, salsa, wine an all-white-outfit and Celia to turn your life into a Carnaval. 

Happy Friday!

G

Vintage white pants found at certain's aunt house. Remember this? 
H&M vest
All pictures by beautiful CoCo
Extras not knowing exactly what they were getting themselves into include: CoCo's parents and Mafe...the DJ

Vintage Heaven

My wonderful vacation in Ibagué, Colombia has come to an end. If you are one of the unoccupied few that read this blog you will know that I landed in vintage heaven when I decided to violate my aunt's closets last week. I supplied large amounts of wine to my aunts (shame, not really!) and countless jokes in order to score some of the items I'm wearing here. If only the weather in NYC was as nice as in Ibagué.....

Hope you enjoy the pictures. Once more my brother was forced into playing the part of the photographer. Not bad for a biologist that loathes fashion!

Everything was fine until I found this scandalous see thru dress. I can only imagine my aunts wearing these back in the days. I'm guessing this was used as a cover up for a bathing suit. Of course, I would never waste such a magnificent dress that way. 

haPpy mOnday!

...you are never fully dressed  until you wear a smile.

vintage blouse found on my uncle's basement (did I ever mention he used to work on the Fashion District in the 70's? bags full of vintage clothes are still to be discovered), French Connection headband, Easiest DIY of the month: the Black Tooth by Sharpie

Good Vibrations

I'm a strong believer in the energy that people and living creatures project. I consider myself as a carrier of "good" energy, and my conclusion is purely based on the fact that most of the dogs and cats (and a couple of horses and now that I think about it even my neighbor's hamsters) I've met during the course of my life want to frolic with me. Maybe is not good energy, maybe I taste like bacon. 

In any case, I'm one of those freaks of nature that believes that ones energy is transmitted to ones clothing and personal items (now is your chance to run away and delete me from your contacts. Are you are still there? OK, hang on a second, this gets better). So even thought I'm a fashion lover, I have refrained myself for many years from visiting vintage stores for the pure fear of weird energies....... (please somebody tell me I'm not the only one who thinks this way, please!) But since we are creatures in constant evolution, I have adventured myself into the wonderful world of vintage shopping, and what better place to do it that in the heart of NYC. No, I didn't freak out. I didn't feel my late grandma's energy floating around and I didn't smell anybody's armpit scent. What I did find was a wonderful place full of wonderful clothing, great people, more colors than Nicki Minaj's hair, and great energy!!

Adios amigos!

BCBG booties

Beautiful male specimen, found on the new arrivals section. 

Alexander Wang dress: wait for me, we'll be together someday. 

Alexander McQueen Boots, BCBG Runway dress

Zac Posen blouse. I happen to be very lucky and score this beauty for almost nothing. She lives in my closet now and we are very much in love (the blouse is entirely transparent, and since I live in a society where showing a nipple is one of the biggest sins one can commit, I decided to put little flowers on top of my mammary glands, use your imagination please).

Gucci vintage shoes, and vintage dress that I left crying back in the racks :(

Special thanks to Kathy for being my photographer and my friend. Alcibiades has been having a hectic schedule and is taking some days off, but he'll be back soon ;). Thanks to Wilson from Second Time Around for being a sunshine and allowing us to play dress up for hours in his store. Love you all!

Miracle on 34th Street

Somehow I was able to score this skirt from the Marni for H&M madness. I lost all hope when I walked by the store at 7:45 am the day of the opening and there was a line that went all the way from 34th to 33rd street. I stopped by the store during my lunch hour just to sob over empty Marni aisles; and then like a miracle (I know, I know it's just clothes but who doesn't like a dose of drama on a Sunday afternoon?) I found this skirt waiting for me at the entrance of the dressing room. We looked at each other and we knew from the very first second we were meant for each other.

hip hip hurraaayyy!

Bonus Picture: Here's me going at 120 mph. Isn't Alcibiades a great photographer? 

It almost looks as if I am not moving!

Marni for H&M skirt, Ralph Lauren dress worn as a blouse, Vince Camuto booties, vintage belt